Last week I was doing a spot of christmas shopping in “Home and Bargain” (A discount store for you non-UK readers) picking up some ridiculously cheap chocolates. I was stopped in my tracks and witnessed something perculier which will be etched in my memory for many years to come.
I saw a little frail old lady less than 5ft tall. In her right hand she was carrying a small basket of items full of individually wrapped chocolate bars. She was rummaging around amongst the chomps, rolos and flakes, struggling to use her hands to guide her impaired vision.
I noticed she was also wrapped up in a ton of layers to help brave the cold and on her own. She probably had to catch the bus, walk a fair distance and fight through the masses of people just to get there.
As she fumbled to reach the mid-shelves full of dime bars, I glimpsed a withered smile on her face. I realised she was truly in her own world of happiness.
These chocolates were obviously gifts or little stocking fillers that she would inevitably pass onto her visiting grandchildren come the christmas period. Nothing compared to the £100+ transformers / fashion doll they may get from their parents who had to remortgage their house in order to pretend that “Santa” had brought them presents for being good. But chocolates that are still just as rewarding for the child who receives them. Because kids don’t really understand the value of money do they? It’s only when we get older that we associate more expense to “better” gifts.
In contrast, surrounding this elderly lady’s generosity I could see people being uptight with each other, angry and bickering over materialistic items.
It made me wonder even more… Is christmas relevant in today’s society? Doesn’t it just cause us unnecessary stress and enforce consumerism to the highest level? Obviously if you’re religious it is as relevant as ever, having unquestioned major connotations bringing meaning, belief and focus to your life. But that’s only partial to the Christmas we know in today’s western culture.
So even though these chocolates cost very little, she most probably spent the majority of her saved pension money on them. It was the thought of her selfless act of giving which made me ask “What does really matter when it comes to christmas?” and if we had to start again would we all “Vote for christmas?”.
On our consumeristic attitude, blogging mogul and big time carer Gary Vaynerchuk tells us – “Last year we were all gloomy because of the recession, but the fact is, we weren’t all eating out of bins. It’s just that we expected to buy a 50in screen TV. Buy the 27in TV, go to work and shut the f*ck up.”
Although our society seems money driven, I believe we NEED christmas. In more ways that we realise. Using Anthony Robbin’s theory of 6 Human needs we can see why that may be so. These needs are ingrained in our inner psyche. Whether you’re rich or poor, whatever your country of origin. Christmas just brings them out. I have outlined the needs and it’s relation to christmas below.
1. Certainty / Comfort
We all want comfort. And much of this comfort comes from certainty. Of course there is no ABSOLUTE certainty, but we want certainty the car will start, the water will flow from the tap when we turn it on and the currency we use will hold its value.
Relation: Christmas is every year, the turkey, the tree the carol singers. It’s a tradition – it’s a fixed event! We have the same rituals of planning and preperation every 12 months.
We may not enjoy it, but we know to expect it. Even those who knock it can gather together and grumble about it.
2. Variety
At the same time we want certainty, we also crave variety. Paradoxically, there needs to be enough UNcertainty to provide spice and adventure in our lives.
Relation: Is it going to snow? What will we buy others? What will we receive? What will people do at the christmas party this year?
3. Significance
Deep down, we all want to be important. We want our life to have meaning and significance.
Relation: We receive a physical gesture from our loved ones. For children, Father christmas brings us the present we have wished for all year. Mothers play the role of holding the family together planning, organising and cooking xmas dinner. Father’s setup up the tree, and often dress up as the white bearded man himself.
4. Connection / Love
It would be hard to argue against the need for love. We want to feel part of a community. We want to be cared for and cared about.
Relation: We gather the whole family together, bond, rejoice and eat masses of food and doze together on the sofa. All that bonding warms us up physically and emotionally.
5. Growth
Everything in the universe is either growing or dying. Many of us are not satisfied spiritually unless our capacities are expanding.
Relation: Because there is so much to the tradition, there is lots to learn. As well as the usual things we learn as children about how to wrap presents, sing hymns and
We all learn hidden life skills about how to treat people and to think of others.
6. Contribution
The desire to contribute something of value—to help others, to make the world a better place than we found it is in all of us.
Relation: It’s no suprise that a lot of volunteer and charity work happens around Christmas, with people thinking of others. People collaborating for the greater good.
So to sum up, whether you’re spending thousands on presents or just a few pennies, it doesn’t matter. Because as long as we just participate, the festive season fulfils some or all of our basic needs. I would certainly vote for christmas again! Would you?
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